


Falling

by feeltherain



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, quote prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feeltherain/pseuds/feeltherain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling's just like flying, except there's a more permanent destination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [this prompt](http://cabinpres-fic.dreamwidth.org/783.html?thread=3025935#cmt3025935). i.e based on the quote _Falling's just like flying, except there's a more permanent destination._
> 
> The first thing I've written and finished in months so I hope it isn't abysmal. And if someone can tell me what is special about the quotes I'll give them a gold star/internet cookies/a story. Just so I know I didn't waste a whole evening :P Enjoy. Comments are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Characters and quotes belong to John Finnemore who is far more talented than I shall ever be.

It’s really nice up here, really brilliant. It’s windy, a bit too windy maybe and a bit cold, but it’s rushing through my hair and making my coat fly backwards like a cloak and I feel a bit like superman. I wish I was superman. That would be brilliant. 

_Yes, oddly enough, Arthur, a jet aircraft isn't as precisely similar to a Vauxhall Corsa as a_ stupid _person might imagine_.

I can see Gertie from here too. I like GERTI. She was always really nice to me, never let anything drop on my head or anything, well, nothing too heavy and it was hardly bleeding at all, really, mum just doesn't like blood. But Gertie would never hurt me intentionally.

_Have you ever read a book, Arthur?_

Neither does Martin or Douglas. They’re....well they’re brilliant, but sometimes...

_Come on, monkey face._

...they just don’t...

_Yes, Arthur, you keep lumbering on after the uptake. It's sure to tire eventually_.

...think. About what they say. But then they’re the clever ones, maybe it’s me not understanding. Mum does it too. And lots of other people.

_Well, for a start, you’re twenty eight, you have a ridiculous job and you still live with your mother._

Maybe it is just me. 

But I can be clever too. They forget that sometimes.

_Did you order the motivational seminar by Forrest Gump?_

Or maybe it’s something that _they_ don’t see. How life isn't made of brilliant things like toblerones or bubble baths or deserts and camels, not all the time, but life can be lived on them. You can hold onto them and jump between them like they’re stepping stones and ignore everything else and you can be happy like that. Maybe not all the time, but most of the time. You can be happy. 

And no one ever really thinks I can do anything. They never think I can cook properly. Well I can’t...

_Are you? Right. Out of mud and gravel?_

...but that’s not the point. Maybe the cake didn't turn out quite as I’d imagined, but it was useful in the end. Certainly gave Ruth a bit of a shock, and Kieran. I saved the day really. In a way. A sort of a way. 

Because that’s another thing, they don’t think I can do anything right either.

_Don’t “Oh, but Mum” me. Who owns your car?_

They think I’m a little bit hopeless.

_Peter, it has long been a maxim of MJN Air that when Arthur stops helping, we can do anything._

But I do my best, and...

_The lighter we keep the plane, the less fuel we need, so I've offloaded all unnecessary dead weight. Speaking of which, how much do you weigh?_

...and sometimes I do help. I helped Skip when we were in Johannesburg. I helped him look happy and he sorted things out and he wore his glasses, the ones he was really embarrassed about but I think they looked really cool.

Maybe I’m not the fastest learner in the world.

_Today we’re going to build on yesterday – we’re not going to let yesterday get us down._

But I do get it eventually. 

_Arthur, are you insane? That's the stupidest way to remember anything I've ever heard._

I know how planes fly now and I know the phonetic alphabet and ask me anything about polar bears. And there’s always ‘learning to understand people’. I saw that Douglas was really sad the day he got his divorce papers before anyone else did. And I saw that Skip wasn’t angry that day, he was just really, really upset. And I can always tell when mum’s been talking to dad from the way her shoulders are hunched and her face is a bit pinched. No one else can do that.

But, I know people can find me a bit...well a bit...

_I hope God gives you a restful and merry one and doesn’t accidentally shut you in a flying cupboard with a pair of idiots'_.

Mum said exasperating a few times. Maybe that’s what I am. 

_Code Red, Arthur._

Yeah, I suppose I am that, really. 

And an idiot.

_I’ve been dinging on my Summon-an-Idiot bell for ages. And yet have I an idiot to show for my trouble? I have not!_

And stupid.

_He also once did a deal, whereby he gave Martin Mayfair so long as he was also allowed to give him the Electric Company._

And a clot.

_Arthur, you clot._

And maybe a little bit useless.

Arthur’s _doing the safety demo?_

And then there’s dad.

_I don’t drink cheap gin. You keep that._

We never really got on. He was always a bit of a...well they’ve all met him now. They know. I don't know if dad ever really wanted children. He said I was an accident a few times but I don't know if he was just angry or not. Looking back he did show three of the signs of anger. But I didn't know that then. I think maybe he just didn't want me. 

But they didn't like him either and he tried to steal Gertie and Douglas stopped him, like we knew he would. Like I knew he would. And everything’s fine again. Except it isn't sometimes. Sometimes things aren’t so brilliant after all.

MJN needs mum, or else who will run it? And it needs Douglas because he gets them out of trouble all the time. And they need Martin because he’s the Captain and he’s a brilliant pilot and...

But MJN doesn't need me. 

It’s really nice up here. I can see the whole of Fitton. And GERTI. It’s windy. Feels almost like I’m flying, if I put my arms out and close my eyes. Like I’m a bird, wings stretched out, flying through the skies, over Fitton, over Douglas, mum and Martin. Over everyone.

And really, falling is just like flying isn't it? 

Except there’s a more permanent destination.


End file.
